14 going on 50

It amazes me how grown adults will behave.

How they can rationalize everything they do, especially when in the negative, on someone else.

How they were raised, they had a mean daddy, their mommy was a bitch, a brother was a real f$#%^&, you name it, and baby, they will find a way to shift the blame for their poor behaviour.

In my own life as it stands currently, I am surrounded by these people. I can't believe that a 45 year old human being can act like such a child. A 48 year old can in fact behave in a manner that a kindergardener would question, a 59 year old will lie like a school girl.

My eyes were opened today to the insanity of it when my 14 year old daughter became angry with me over an issue. As the authority figure, be it in our business or at home, this happens with regularity to me. Someone is always angry with me over something I have said, their perception of how I have said it, their own personal spin on it, the fact that I am asking them to do a job (mind you that they are being paid by my company to do). It never ends.

This situation reminded me of many of the employee/employer struggles I see today in my own business and in the business of others.

Many that know me know that I stand on principal and am firm in my convictions. They know that if they come to me with an issue they had better bring facts to back up what they wish to talk to me about.

If they bring accusations about others, they very likely run the risk of me bringing the accused into the picture immediately to avoid "gossip". I only feel it fair that a man/woman be allowed to face his or her accusers in any situation. "For every mans way seems right until another comes forward to present his case".


Ok, enough of my side track.

Back to the rift.

My son and daughther had just come back from mowing a lawn they had contracted for. It was at this point that I thought it a good idea for them to mow our lawn too.

I mean really, the lawn mower was already out and warmed up.

I casually mentioned to them that I would like for them to hit ours next.

This met with the look from the daughter.

The look that says "What?!" "Are you Kidding me?!"

At that point, I proceeded to state what I saw in the situation.

"Now why can't you at least do our back yard?"

"Yesterday, you were all so eager to mow the neighbors lawn that I thought you might pee yourself in the process of going there".

She pursed her lips and stalked off to the shed to begin the lawn mowing rant.

It was here that I realized that the "pee yourself" comment wasn't really the best thing in the world to say so I followed her to the shed.

I told her that I wanted her to forget the lawn mowing and that I would handle it tonight.

This resulted in a bit of a verbal skirmish in which she even began to raise her voice to me.

She was obviously upset and getting more so as the seconds wore on.

I wouldn't budge and after reminding her that she was to not raise her voice to me again (as her mother and I have attempted to set this example for our children as a poor way to handle conflict), she went on her way.

She came back and attempted to yet again convince me that I should let her do the work, and I again wouldn't budge.

She left very upset and began to cry.

After a little while she emerged yet again, nose red and eyes a bit puffy.

This time however it was with a different tone.

"Dad, listen, here is the deal.

I was upset when you asked me to mow the lawn because I had just gotten done with that huge yard of the neighbors and had planned to play with the boys and the neighbor kids for the night because it is supposed to rain the rest of the week.

I am sorry for acting that way and if you still want me to I will mow the rest of the lawn for you"

My response was as follows.

"OK, well, I don't mind finishing this job for you because your point is well taken.

Maybe next time, instead of pursing your lips and stalking off, you would consider explaining to me at the outset your position, just like you did tonight.

For I am a reasonable dad/man, and will always listen, plus we can avoid you feeling so upset. Now go have a good time"

"OK dad, thanks"

Off she skipped (yes she skipped). Happy as the proverbial clam.

I am harder on our kids and in fact harder on my wife than "outsiders" to our family, everyone from friends to employees.

As things have gone for me lately I have almost started wondering if I am losing my mind or going crazy with all these people who simply refuse to bring issues they may have about any number of things to me.

You would almost think that I am Shrek or something.

Hell, maybe it's my breath.

I don't know.

They gossip, they deceive, they spin the truth, they marginalize, they work every angle they can, so long as to avoid the fact of the matter or at the very least, avoid coming to the one person who can really solve the issue for them.

It is almost as though they enjoy the madness. I think maybe it is "normal" for them.

Yet, my 14 year old daughter isn't afraid to bring a disagreement to me immediately.

Funny to me (the big meanie that I am)

No beatings ensued.

No yelling.

No name calling.

No fear.

Just a father and a daughter hashing out a disagreement.

You know the neatest part to me?

I love her even more today.

I find myself even more proud of her than I already was before this issue.

Conflict and disagreements can really work out for the best if we only would act like adults.

I learned from her today.

I hope you may too.

Well, to quote my very wise daughter "I guess that's all....bye"